Anger Dealing with the Mystery

I find myself constantly questioning the mysteries that life gives me. At this stage in my life, I feel as though I cannot take the answer"Well God does it for (this reason or that)." Isn't there more to this picture than that?

The reason these ideas have popped into my skull is that I found out yesterday that my uncle, whom I am close to, has acute leukemia. At first I was stunned, I didn't actually believe it. Then I felt an anger fill up inside me, then I broke out in tears! This situation brings me back to the question "Why?". I haven't a clue! There may be scientific reasoning behind it, but there is no rational reasoning. Sometimes I get very agitated with God and the things he allows to happen. I don't blame God for the bad things that happen, but I do wonder why.

I believe God has been given too much credit for the bad things in our world, but I also believe he has been given too much credit for the good things in our world. Maybe he is just an observer and doesn't involve himself in the goings on of earth. This approach is not convincing enough for me. I feel as though I have experienced God. I feel his spirit within me daily. I feel him all around me and in everything around me. I do believe he is here. This is yet another reason why this is so hard for me. If I do believe he is here, why does he allow this to happen?

This brings us back to the "fall of humankind;" our "sin" has caused this evil to produce and thrive all over our globe. This is hard for me to accept wholly, as well. I just feel that there has to be something more. That humans can better the things of this world. I believe that evil can be triumphed over and that we and our inherent good within us can overcome evil if we truly decide to do so. There is so much hate in the world, but I wholeheartedly believe that love is there and it will prevail. I guess you can call this hope! I have hope in God and the love he has given us.

I pray this Psalm for all those who cannot explain the evil in life, but have hope in the love - "May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." - Psalm 33:22